we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize