Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
