Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
