"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize