just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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