so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
