Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
