I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Never underestimate the power of titties
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
