Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
