I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
