i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
