Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize