Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
