I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
