I'd wear matching sweaters with you
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
