i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
