Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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