OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
