I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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