i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize