We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
