so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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