You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
