He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Come share oat with me in your robe
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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