He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
