yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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