that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
