spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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