Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
