If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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