I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
