literally had 100 drinks last night.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
