i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
