bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
