We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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