Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
