Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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