im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
