His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
