hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
