i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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