I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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