8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
