talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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