You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
