I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We just shotgunned beers for America
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
