you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
