just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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