he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize