i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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