i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
