giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
