My room smells like vodka and shame
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
