Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
