Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
