do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize