i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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