Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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